Inermus

I want my wings back

and my bones unbroken

my heart in one peace

and all words unspoken

and if you can't give that

I beg you for one

just one little favour

just leave me alone.

 

"I'm lonely" said Little White Rabbit

„I’m lonely” said Little White Rabbit.

“Take this” said The Mad Hatter, dangling something shiny in front of it's nose.

“What’s that?” said Little White Rabbit.

“Well, it’s a watch” said The Mad Hatter, “you can have it”.

“How is a watch supposed to make me less lonely?” asked Little White Rabbit.

“Well, you would still be lonely, but at least you’d know for how long you have been lonely.” said The Mad Hatter.

“It’s pretty heavy” said Little White Rabbit.

“Of course it’s heavy, it carries all that time inside” said The Mad Hatter.

“And it doesn’t work” said Little White Rabbit, wrinkling it's rosy nose.

“Of course it doesn’t work, it’s a watch“ said The Mad Hatter, “people work, lifeless objects usually don’t.”

“You know what I mean, it doesn’t... tell the time” said Little White Rabbit.

“It can’t tell you anything, it is, as I said, a lifeless object.” said The Mad Hatter.

“I MEANT it does not move!” said Little White Rabbit.

“Oh it will pretty well move as soon as you hop along with it” said The Mad Hatter, shooing Little White Rabbit away.

„I’m lonely” said Little White Rabbit.

“I could have your head chopped off if you like?” said The Queen Of Hearts.

“No thanks, I don’t think that would make me less lonely” said Little White Rabbit.

“It was worth a try.” Said The Queen Of Hearts.

“You don’t know how I could make any friends?” said Little White Rabbit.

“Friends? Well one thing is for sure, you won’t make friends if you don’t have anything and are nothing.” Said The Queen Of Hearts.

“I have a watch!” said Little White Rabbit. "And I am a Little White Rabbit.”

“A watch is good. Watches make you look important. You can run around and tell everyone you’re late, that makes you very important” said The Queen Of Hearts.

“Oh.” Said Little White Rabbit. “But I don’t have anything to do. There’s nothing I could be late for.”

“I could invite you to tea. For yesterday. Then you will always be late for that!” said The Queen Of Hearts.

“But,” said Little White Rabbit, “isn’t that cheating?”

“Cheating is very important if you want to make friends.” Said The Queen Of Hearts.

“so if I run around telling everyone I am late for your tea, I will make friends?” asked Little White Rabbit.

“No.” said The Queen Of Hearts.

“But, you just said…” said Little White Rabbit.

“I said you need to be someone.” said The Queen Of Hearts. ”You are a white rabbit. A rather small white rabbit. That’s nothing. You have to be important, or there will be no friends for you.”

“I will never be important. Oh no, I will never have friends.” Said Little White Rabbit.

“Wear something expensive, like white gloves” said The Queen Of Hearts.

“White gloves?” said Little White Rabbit. “ I have white gloves at home… I will  go and get them!”

“Then wear them and show them and you will have more friends than you can count” said The Queen Of Hearts.

„I’m lonely” said Little White Rabbit..

“Of course you are lonely, everyone is, that is how we are made” said The Cheshire Cat.

“But I want friends. I need friends. I don’t want to be alone” said Little White Rabbit.

“Of course you want friends, everyone wants friends, that is how we are made” said The Cheshire Cat.

“I have this watch, and I am important because I have no time, and I have white gloves, but I still have no friends.” Said Little White Rabbit.

“That is an interesting collection to make friends with.” said The Cheshire Cat.

“I am trying so hard. What am I doing wrong?” asked Little White Rabbit.

“You need to learn the most important of things.” said The Cheshire Cat.

“What is the most important of things?” asked Little White Rabbit.

“The most important of things” said The Cheshire Cat and vanished slowly into the mist, “is that you have to fall”.

“Fall, how?” asked Little White Rabbit.

But The Cheshire Cat had already disappeared and had taken her smile with her.

Time for a post, I presume

Earlier today I was reminded of this little story I’d written a couple of years back, and after a profound search of my Bermuda Cube (aka wooden chest of old binders) found it.  

Judging on the other stuff in there I’d put it somewhere 2002 /2003.

 ____________

The Cliffs

Hey! Hey you… yes.. you.  Sitting on that cliff. Can’t you hear me? 

No, of course you can’t. Your kind never can. Anyway, I am down here. Maybe you could see me if you tried. Nice you like those cliffs. See, I live in them. Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y down where they begin. In a cave.

Under the sea. Which is actually a very stupid expression, come to think of it. I don't live under the sea. I live *in* the sea. Under the sea... is sand. And rocks. Crabs live there. I don't. I live in a cave in the cliffs.

They sing. Those rocks. You know they are singing rocks, don’t you? Oh I wish you knew… maybe we could be friends if you only could hear them. But it’s okay if you just think they look pretty. Because they are. You know what? I’ll like you just because you like them.

They sing to me when I feel alone. And I sing with them, because I am part of them. You know I often wonder if any of your kind can hear them, but you people never sing. I guess you can't.

I really can't think what you people do up there all day. It’s weird, you know? Sitting around or hobbelling on those funny looking things. Weird. Makes you look so fragile. No power. 

I can swim. I can jump! Right out of the water. High into the air and do a flip and a big big splash, that’s fun! I am so sorry you can never do that with those… things.

I just wish I wasn’t so alone. See, I am the only one like me. There are fish, yes. There are lots of critters and the caves and all the water, oh the water! But no one like me. No where. 

I have tried to make friends with someone like you before… no worries. Not going there again. At first, I crawled out of the water and… and… I cannot breathe. I can’t speak. I can’t sing. I can't jump. I just sat there, and they laughed at me. In the end, I nearly didn’t even manage to get back. After that I hid in my cave for a long time. But the fish didn’t laugh at me, so I came back out again.

Then, I went and…  you know… oh it was awful! See, there was someone, sitting there, right where you are, and for a moment, I thought they would like to see my world down here…and…and. Well. Turns out your kind can’t breathe down here just as much as I can’t breathe up there. I had to let go. I will never do that again. I promise.

Sometimes I find things, things that belong up there. I am not all sure what they are, but they remind me. Some things you can wear, even though it's totally beyond me why you would want to wear that? But I put them on anyway. It makes me feel like I belong to.. something. But only for a short while as I have no idea as to what.

Some things you can look at. Some are rather pretty, but never as pretty as my things. But still, I keep them. Then I don’t feel so lonely.

I guess I talk quite a lot, what? Well, doesn’t matter as you can’t hear me anyway. I wonder what it is like to know someone you don’t have to talk to, because they already know. Do you know someone like that? I don’t. I am not sure someone like that exists, but it’s a nice idea, isn’t it?

Well anyway, I am happy you like my cliffs. They are very  beautiful even up there.  Of course not as marvellously beautiful as down here, as they are.. so.. dry.. up there. No light breaking in the water. No sparkles. No plants, no fish. No song. I wish I could show you how much more beautiful they are down here. I’m so sorry I can’t.

But I have to leave now. I have to swim. I will be back, after all this is my home. 

But, I have a secret. I am on a mission. I will go and search. This world is so big...  I just can’t believe I am really the only one.

I go searching. For someone I don’t need to talk to. Someone with fins.

How not to creep out the Celebrity of your choice Checklist 101

Okay, let's see... what can I say?

I guess some will want to bite my head off for this because they are 'not like that'.

Well, simple thing, if the shoe doesn't fit, don't try to wear it.

This is a simple checklist for (In this case, obviously), the BBC Sherlock Fandom, but I guess it can be taken for a lot of other fandoms as well.

#.1: Actors are human beings. This might be news to you, but they actually have feelings, emotions, and a need for privacy. Don't follow them to the loo.

#2 They might need to concentrate during their work. Wailing fans within earshot might be considered counterproductive.

#3 The same goes for producers, directors, any crew member, actually. They usually do not employ androids at the BBC (and every trekkie knows, androids have feelings, too).

#4 There is something called self respect. And there's that weird thing called respect to others. If you like someone, behave like they are worth being respected. Drool on their toe-caps does not imply that.

#5 Herding mentality is not a good thing. If you are planning to do anything just because there are a lot of people literally or virtually around you doing it, check your self-respectometer. If it turns bright red (aka you can be sure you will look like a mentally challenged 6 year old doing it) don't do it.

#6 Whatever you do, check if you, in their position, would feel the need to call the police, the national guard, or the guys with the straight jackets being confronted with such behaviour.
If it would make you feel like this, don't do it.

#7 If they themselves have not called you within the last 24 hrs, or have sent you a love letter, or a message, chances are you are not in a relationship with them. So don't behave as if you are.

#8 If you happen to meet them somewhere, (they usually don't spend their private time locked up in a coffin, so there's a chance they are somewhere out there) there's no problem if it's obvious you recognise them. Everything else depends on what they are doing (or actually, what you are doing).
One thing's for sure though, wailing or squeaking sounds, screaming, throwing up, or dancing around singing 'Oh god he's so beautiful' are never a good idea.
Just imagine someone has a crush on you and starts making weird sounds when they see you. It's more than a bit not good.

#9 if they are standing somewhere happily giving autographs, grab your pen and whatever you have (well, maybe not your bra) go over there and tell them you think they're great and 'could I have an autograph please'. They love that.

#10 if you come across them on gatherings, meetings, cons, where they are to represent what they are doing (not as fans themselves, then we would have a case of #8), go over and have your picture taken or get your autograph or say hello. That's what they're there for.


#11 Behaving according to this list is no reason to run around telling everyone you do so.
It's just normal decent behaviour and should literally go without saying.




Sure this list could be a little longer, but I think it covers the basics.

Drawing again, finally!

I bought a Bamboo Tablet last week, have to say I love the thing! 

I hadn't done any proper drawing for a couple of years, because I couldn't get "anything right". Somehow I never had the idea to ask a doctor why that would be, I actually thought I had simply lost my talent! That is one very depressing feeling, I can assure you.

So it came as a bit of a surprise when during some kind of routine check my doctor saw signs of carpal tunnel syndrome, and it all ended with me undergoing the required operation within weeks. 

After a while I started to take out my paints and pencils again, but still, I felt like I just couldn't really get into things, even though I felt quite proud to be able to draw some gifts for friends. 

But the main problem, a hand not really used to drawing a straight line any more after years of neglect, remained: I always ended up in such an awful mess! I hate a reasonably well done picture going down the drain because there's a line not right, there some paint is spilt... a lot of things simply wandered into the bin.

 Then, a couple of months back, I first came across a graphics board (Yes I have a weird tendency to always live completely behind the moon with certain things), and just knew this would be the answer. No drips, no spills, no paint that needs to dry... and every possible style available at one single click with your fingers! 

Now finally last week, my new 'friend' arrived. And after a couple of first shaky trials, I really feel myself at home. 

This is a good way to gain confidence and to train my muscles back to their former self. I am sure within a couple of months I will be able again to use real pens and brushes!

Here is the latest one I drew, PS on Bamboo,
about 15 hrs, from photo reference of course.
Myrna Loy.

Oh well yeah, blog.

So there, here I am. Blogging again. I've done that before, I admit...

I had taken a somewhat too large piece of cake with a blog that was supposed to be added to on a daily basis. 

Writing on a daily basis, honestly, is not my thing.

To tell you what *is* my thing (and what to expect) 
I guess I better tell you the basics about me:

with 41 winters a cat out of it's first fur, certainly, but not out of it's mind (yet).

Highly influenced by music (listening, not playing, that is), literature, as well as anything to do with history (without the boring bits) and arts (I can't think of any boring bits)

The blogname describes me in a nutshell: It's a contraction of 'Watson' and 'Grantaire'. I have gone by that name for a good part of my life, even though I am aware I am more of a Grantaire than a Watson.

If you have no idea what I am on about, you 

a) better look up 'Sherlock Holmes' and 'Les Misérables' and 

b) imagine a kid of seven finding two books in an old kitchen chest, reading them, not understanding about 99,9% of the stuff the first time, but reading them again, and again, and again... yepp, you've got me. I am mad.

Otherwise I am owned by two cats and collect sheep. the cats are the real thing, including fur everywhere, and meows and purrs and claws, the sheep on the other hand are plush, or wood, or ceramics.

Anything else to add?

Graphics designer, love my photoshop and my brand new graphics tablet, be warned there might be drawings turning up in the near future, same goes for photographic experiments.


I have always been an observer of human nature but more often than not it downright baffles me. 

If this blog will have a topic, it will be everything that makes me wonder, makes me laugh, that buggers me, drives me mad, or in any other way makes me tick. Arts, music, literature,  movies...cats and sheep! 

So if you find any of this in any way interesting, stay tuned,

yours, 

Watsonaire